Our Day in the Grandest of Islands

Today Maximus and I had to go back to Grand Island for a tuxedo and dress fitting. Since the drive is close to two hours long each way, I decided to take Maximus to the playground and library while we were there. Man, it was hot and humid. It was 97 degrees and close to 90% humidity. Poor kid was so excited to visit his favorite library and playground, but he got overheated. Then a tornado hit Grand Island after we left!


Check out his calves!This red face is the sign that it's time to go.

We realized tonight that heat + carseat + diaper + diaper rash = misery. He's been dealing with a diaper rash for a while, but tonight was the worst I hope to ever see it. I won't go into details, but it hurts him so much that he actually shakes. We've tried everything! From prescriptions to home remedies, nothing is helping. I've decided that he'll only wear a diaper tomorrow only when we go to the store. He's going to sport big boy underpants around the house all day. Does anyone have any suggestions? Any and all are welcome.

So we get home, eat the dinner that's been cooking in the Crock Pot all day (super healthy and simple: chicken breasts simmered in two jars of Pace medium picante sauce and a can of organic corn. Mmm! It just pulls apart and it's heaven!) and we go into the garage in preparation for our evening walk. I grab the wagon and see a gigantic spider on the ground. Jesse came out and said it was the size of a silver dollar. Freaking spiders! Enough already! Sickening! Baah!

Why?

Turn up the volume on your computer so you can hear what he's doing.

Did You Know...

Most of your life is spent within 5 feet of a spider? I refuse to believe that one. Kind of lame, but gullible people like me fall for stuff like that all the time. I read that online while I was trying to figure out what kind of spider this is:
This morning I went out to the garage to fetch birdseed for my feeder that hangs out front. When I hit the button and the door started to open, I could see a very tall spider on the ground. I was on the phone with my mom and she witnessed my fear firsthand. I grabbed a bottle of windshield liquid and placed it over the spider and ground it into the cement. I looked under the bottle and the spider was dead in his smashed worthless guts. Get this: I went out to the garage a few hours later and opened it from the inside. As the door opened, I saw another spider of the same size standing in the same place! I ran inside to grab the camera, but when I got out there, he ran away. Now I have to rest knowing that there's a King Kong sized beast out there. On my way inside, I saw this one near the door. I don't know if it's a common house spider or what. The pictures I've come across are unclear. I think having the mentality that every spider is out to bite people is good, because it keeps me on my toes. Stupid worthless pieces of sh!t.

Helping Dad

Jesse mowed the lawn this evening and for the first time EVER, Maximus helped him! He actually followed him and tried to do what Jesse was doing. I thought Max would be three when he did this so of course, I fought back the tears. I can't find words to describe how precious it was.

Here's Handsomer checking on the lawn. If you click on the picture, you can see pieces of grass stuck to his face.
Listen up, fellow mothers of boys...invest in a pair of Keen sandals. They're all terrain, high quality, boy-proof summer sandals they'll wear daily. Your kid doesn't need a day to adjust to them and they'll never get blisters. Max is the king of "stinky feet" and they don't smell at all in these breathable sandals!

Strength

IT'S A BABY PULLING A GROWN MAN!


Poor Jesus, he's only like a foot taller than Maximus.

They Grew!

Check out how much they've grown! Here's a picture I took today...


And here's the picture I took a few weeks ago after I planted them.


Christy, I have three on one plant and four on another!

Is it Mothers Day Again?

Sunday morning was rad. I got to sleep in and Jesse took Maximus to the store to get a few things for breakfast. Jesse making breakfast every Sunday is a little tradition we have. I just hung out in bed and watched tv with a cup of coffee while they were gone. They came back with TWO bouquets of flowers! Then Jesse made me Greek eggs. AND whole wheat french toast! He's so sweet! Greek eggs: tomatoes, onion, feta, kalamata olives, bell pepper and mushrooms scrambled together with eggs. What a guy!


That evening we went over to DJ and Ashlie's house. We grilled and had fun. Here's Maximus working on his abs again.

Here's Jacqueline trying to kill Hank.Maximus after a chocolate granola bar. The look on his face is classic.

"Home Sweet Home" Invaders

We came home from dinner and pulled into the garage. Our garage leads to our laundry room which is inside of our house! It could have gotten in! Jackie and Max would have played with it! I'm pretty sure I heard this thing running around in our garage. I screamed and Jesse stepped on it. I hate spiders and no matter what anyone tells me, there's no use for them and the world would be a better place without them. And Jesse, my love, thinks it so funny to tell me there's a spider in my hair after seeing this. Ass hole.

Fair Baby

When Handsomer was born, the nurses in the hospital called him the "fair baby".

This afternoon as we waited around for Jesse to come home, Maximus was having "HT's" (hard times) all over the place. He seemed bored. He refused his lunch, kept chasing Jacqueline, purposely threw his toys into the garbage can and it seemed that he was doing things to get my attention. I finally said, "hey bud, do you wanna play outside?" He actually squealed and ran to the back door. I opened it and he ran around giggling. It's 86 degrees here and like, 90% humidity. Not the ideal comfort level. We stayed outside until he turned purple. He's so damn fair that he turns colors! Thanks Jesse! If it's warm outside, his face turns bright red after a few minutes. Oh, we dip him in sunscreen! Here's a picture I got of his redness. And he does have visible eyebrows when he's not bright red.

And here are a few others I got. He looks like a 4 year old in some of them!

Cute

I did some ironing this morning and had to take a picture of Maximus' shirts next to Jesse's shirt. He's growing up and they're almost the same size.

Basil Thief

Something is eating my basil! I won't use pesticides or chemicals on my little plants, but I need to do something. I ate a leaf of it today and it's actually tasty basil! Obviously, because something else is also eating it.

And oh my god! Things will actually grow! When I planted my little friends, I honestly didn't think they would make it through the night. But after watering and sunshine and my obsessing, they're coming along! And thank you Christie for taking a picture of your tomato plant. We should have a contest...

Sunscreen Wipes

Baby Silk wipes are the best out there. Expensive, yes...but totally worth it if you have a kid. You can wipe them down from head to toe and the best thing is that they don't smell of sunscreen! These wipes smell so good! For my other mom friends out there, it's mdmoms.com

The 10 Minute "Babysitter"

I needed to get a few things done at home this morning before Maximus an I went to the store.

The things he wanted to "help" with:

1. Putting on my makeup and blow drying my hair- he likes to destroy the bathroom and if I close him out, he usually gets into something on the other side of the house because he's pissed that he's not in the bathroom destroying it.

2. Loading/unloading/folding laundry- difficult to do because we have a separate laundry room and Jacqueline's food is kept in it because Handsomer STILL eats it! I open the door and his dodo is instantly in her water dish or he's digging in her dry food.

3. Cleaning up his toys- Maximus has his very own playroom. He also has toys in his bedroom, our bedroom, the living room and the kitchen. Those who know my past know that I was once diagnosed with OCD and although I'm tons better, I can't leave my house looking like a tornado ripped through a toy store. No way.

Anyway, I know my list is pretty lame but I'm a stay at home mom who sticks to routine. We needed to go to the store early today because there was a strong possibility of a tornado this afternoon. I wasn't concerned about the tornado, I just didn't want to be in the parking lot with a bunch of groceries in the midst of hail. So here's my point: I did something I said I would never do! I made Maximus his whole wheat waffles and banana and actually moved his highchair into the living room directly in front of the tv! He likes Handy Manny and a few others, but only for about 15 minutes. He doesn't like tv much...THANK GOD. (I never want my kids to be "indoor" kid because they're too into gaming and shit on tv. Get up and move and go outside. I'd rather him hurt from falling out of a tree than sitting in front of the tv with Cheetos...which he's never had) So he sat in front of the tv and ate his breakfast (while getting crumbs on the carpet) while mom got ready. So lame. I hate when I even hear jokes about "tv being the babysitter", but I think it's less ridiculous for 10 minutes.

I snapped a couple pictures...

Enough of the Baby Sharking Already!

Maximus woke up from his nap and he and his stuffed shark went to town on his crib. I walked in and saw a piece of wood stuck to his nose and then noticed more pieces scattered on the floor and inside of his bed. We can't sand over this and fix it for the next child because PART OF THE RAIL IS MISSING! It looks so ghetto! I do love my baby shark though.

White Trash Kid

This week has been killer! Jesse has two weeks off work (the first week he was in Salt Lake looking for a house) but this week he's been hanging out with Handsomer and me. Well, he seriously spends most of his time doing math in regards to a possible mortgage payment, researching the area we might buy in, etc. Anyway, we've been waking up later than normal and this morning I got this picture. Jesse's going to kill me for posting a picture of his chest hair! Ha!
Our days are spent doing whatever we want! We visited the museum, numerous playgrounds, going out to eat, yard work, playing, shopping, whatever we want! It's key! But I'm bracing myself for the 70 hours he'll probably have to work very soon. Today we went to the "Homo Depot" (as I like to call it- shout out to my homos!) and we got flowers and more tomato plants. Jesse's dad (who is the gardener from hell*) already gave me two tomato plants, but we figured I'd need more since I eat my weight in tomatoes daily in the summer. Yes, 300 pounds! Here's what I planted tonight! I'm so proud. It's the first time I've really ever planted anything since my strawberry pots at the Gateway condos, so I hope it goes well. Whenever I water my two tomato plants, I walk out and honestly say, "good morning dudes. Ready for water?" After I water them I say, "hang out in the sun for a bit". What a tard, I know. Anywho, here's my plants. Don't nay-say them, I planted them like an hour before I snapped a picture. After living in a few homes with the traditional vinyl siding, I can't stand it! Cookie cutter! Where's the personality?! Anyway, the home we hopefully close on is nothing like this.


My lilies and basil...

These are "the dudes" I talk to every morning...

These are pictures I got of Handsomer this evening. He's learning how to give up his second (afternoon) nap and I usually give him something rad to do instead, so he forgets about how tired he is. This afternoon/evening he played in the back yard in his plastic pool (that was attacked by some kind of animal). He was in his diaper because it was close to bedtime and I snapped these pictures only because he looked pretty ghetto. C'mon...a diaper, a fair skinned child who is nearly allergic to the sun (unlike his Greek goddess mother) and only surfaces at night, a Nascar toy (which he totally digs) and the fact that we're in Nebraska!

*"from hell" is a registered Vicki statement.

Museum

Jesse and I took Maximus to the museum again today. This is what he enjoyed the most.



And look what a nice little dad he was to this lost naked baby.


Maximus goes to the moon!

Balloon, Jacqueline Attack and Watching the Game with Dad

Yes, his balloon is actually tied to his dodo. He LOVED it. And yes, I realize it's not the safest thing to do, but it's not like he's out of my sight ever. He got this balloon at his haircut place because he screamed his head off. He screamed so hard that he trembled and shook. So sad, but so worth the cute hair cut.

Jackie really is a good dog. Tonight as she was chewing on her bone, Max straddled her and started bouncing on her back. She's 10 pounds lighter than him and Maximus is pretty strong. She just looked at me like, "let me know when the kid's done". And then he grabbed onto her bone and tried to pull it from her mouth. She bit onto it but let go when he smacked her. He's trying to learn "soft" when he pets her, but she is so good with him. Poor girl. I spoiled her rotten before Maximus was born and now the old lady just puts up with his little attacks. He does cuddle with her and I think she knows he loves her.This is how Maximus likes to sit on the couch with dad. They're watching the Cavaliers/Magic game. He prefers to sit right on the edge. Another totally safe activity for him to do. And doesn't Jesse look hot with his new haircut? And new tattoos?!
And look at my cute boy. In the above picture, you can see my two cute boys and cute girl. I counted his teeth-12 with 4 breaking through. Don't stick your hand in there.

"Freaky Fast"

I ordered Jimmy Johns for dinner. We live really close to one, but Maximus was eating and I was getting light headed from hunger. I got my sandwich in 6 minutes! It really is "freaky fast delivery"! And the dude who took my order sounded like he was half asleep, but he got my anal order correct. Go Jimmy Johns!

The reason I ate Jimmy Johns for dinner is because Jesse has been in Salt Lake City since Tuesday. He's looking at homes for us to buy and he'll be back tomorrow evening. Maximus and I miss him insanely! We ichat every morning and night, so Maximus gets to see him. It's so cute. After Max's bath, he runs out to the living room (where Jesse dries him off) but he stands there saying, "dada?" It breaks my heart every damn night.

Yesterday Handsomer, Jackie and I went to Jesse's parents house for a bbq and it was so fun. My future sister in law sent me a text message as we were driving that said "a zebra and shark are waiting for Maximus". We get there and see a zebra in the front yard! They got Max a blow-up zebra swimming pool equipped with a slide and fountain and a battery operated shark was swimming around with plastic snakes. I put Max's shark swimming trunks on and he played until his lips were purple. I'm laughing right now thinking about the fun he had. He even ate 7 marshmallows and threw a cell phone into the dogs water dish. He knows he gets away with anything and everything there. When we headed home, Maximus and Jackie were asleep after 3 blocks. We got home, ichatted with Jesse and went to bed. Max slept until noon today. Noon!

Missionaries

I love when LDS missionaries are in the area and stop by. I always offer them water or soda or a snack. My brother served a mission in Ireland and a lot of my friends are Mormon, so I have respect for them and realize how hard a mission can be at times. I'm not LDS anymore, but I don't mind talking to the elders about stuff.

Two elders were walking by when I went to get the mail this morning. I said, "Hey elders!" to them and they stopped and asked how my morning was. We talked for a few minutes and I told them we're from Salt Lake, but they couldn't keep their eyes off my right arm. (Maybe the baby shark on it was freaking them out, I don't know) They asked if I was a member of "the" church and I told them I wasn't, but my family is. Of course they asked why, so I told them that I primarily grew up LDS, went to seminary, held callings, my brother served a mission and is now a devout Catholic but is married to a die-hard Mormon woman, I told them I worked at the JSMB (Joseph Smith Memorial Building), went to LDS Business College, met Gordon B. Hinkley twice and most of the Quorum of the Twelve, got married in the LDS temple and I even told them that I voluntarily had my records removed when I no longer agreed with the teachings of "the" church and I'm a very happy athiest. They asked why I left and I told them why. I won't write the reason because a few of my LDS friends will be reading this, but you don't see me standing on Temple Square in Salt Lake with an anti-Mormon sign in my hands. I'm still a good person.

The missionaries asked if I'd be interested in a few of the discussions and I said no. I said they could stop by any time for water or a snack if they were in the area. I understand the point of their mission. But since I'm not another convert for them, they quickly decided that they needed to go and actually said they'll pray for me in hopes that I'll "see the light again". Are you kidding me? I don't understand why they assume that I need "the light" to be happy. I couldn't imagine a better life than the one I'm living. I have everything I've ever wanted and I'm a good person! I'm different, but being different doesn't ruin a person. I told them that it saddened me to see how closed off they were and I wished them luck. I told them to stop by anytime.

I'm just writing this because every other set of elders who I've run into have been pretty cool. They respect my decision and lifestyle and I respect theirs. I'm stunned at how quickly they changed. Oh well. I can understand their beliefs and why they reacted that way because I was the same way several years ago. I think they just need a little more life experience too. Or maybe it's because they were uncomfortable wearing navy suits in the humid weather. Who knows.

Shark Attack

Here are the pictures of our baby sharks...keep in mind that my arm is still swollen and it looks like my wrist is a kankle.  Check out my duck!  Peck signed his work with his trademark duck.

The Greek writing says "Maximus".

I love the dodo!

And Jesse's...