White Trash Kid

This week has been killer! Jesse has two weeks off work (the first week he was in Salt Lake looking for a house) but this week he's been hanging out with Handsomer and me. Well, he seriously spends most of his time doing math in regards to a possible mortgage payment, researching the area we might buy in, etc. Anyway, we've been waking up later than normal and this morning I got this picture. Jesse's going to kill me for posting a picture of his chest hair! Ha!
Our days are spent doing whatever we want! We visited the museum, numerous playgrounds, going out to eat, yard work, playing, shopping, whatever we want! It's key! But I'm bracing myself for the 70 hours he'll probably have to work very soon. Today we went to the "Homo Depot" (as I like to call it- shout out to my homos!) and we got flowers and more tomato plants. Jesse's dad (who is the gardener from hell*) already gave me two tomato plants, but we figured I'd need more since I eat my weight in tomatoes daily in the summer. Yes, 300 pounds! Here's what I planted tonight! I'm so proud. It's the first time I've really ever planted anything since my strawberry pots at the Gateway condos, so I hope it goes well. Whenever I water my two tomato plants, I walk out and honestly say, "good morning dudes. Ready for water?" After I water them I say, "hang out in the sun for a bit". What a tard, I know. Anywho, here's my plants. Don't nay-say them, I planted them like an hour before I snapped a picture. After living in a few homes with the traditional vinyl siding, I can't stand it! Cookie cutter! Where's the personality?! Anyway, the home we hopefully close on is nothing like this.


My lilies and basil...

These are "the dudes" I talk to every morning...

These are pictures I got of Handsomer this evening. He's learning how to give up his second (afternoon) nap and I usually give him something rad to do instead, so he forgets about how tired he is. This afternoon/evening he played in the back yard in his plastic pool (that was attacked by some kind of animal). He was in his diaper because it was close to bedtime and I snapped these pictures only because he looked pretty ghetto. C'mon...a diaper, a fair skinned child who is nearly allergic to the sun (unlike his Greek goddess mother) and only surfaces at night, a Nascar toy (which he totally digs) and the fact that we're in Nebraska!

*"from hell" is a registered Vicki statement.

Museum

Jesse and I took Maximus to the museum again today. This is what he enjoyed the most.



And look what a nice little dad he was to this lost naked baby.


Maximus goes to the moon!

Balloon, Jacqueline Attack and Watching the Game with Dad

Yes, his balloon is actually tied to his dodo. He LOVED it. And yes, I realize it's not the safest thing to do, but it's not like he's out of my sight ever. He got this balloon at his haircut place because he screamed his head off. He screamed so hard that he trembled and shook. So sad, but so worth the cute hair cut.

Jackie really is a good dog. Tonight as she was chewing on her bone, Max straddled her and started bouncing on her back. She's 10 pounds lighter than him and Maximus is pretty strong. She just looked at me like, "let me know when the kid's done". And then he grabbed onto her bone and tried to pull it from her mouth. She bit onto it but let go when he smacked her. He's trying to learn "soft" when he pets her, but she is so good with him. Poor girl. I spoiled her rotten before Maximus was born and now the old lady just puts up with his little attacks. He does cuddle with her and I think she knows he loves her.This is how Maximus likes to sit on the couch with dad. They're watching the Cavaliers/Magic game. He prefers to sit right on the edge. Another totally safe activity for him to do. And doesn't Jesse look hot with his new haircut? And new tattoos?!
And look at my cute boy. In the above picture, you can see my two cute boys and cute girl. I counted his teeth-12 with 4 breaking through. Don't stick your hand in there.

"Freaky Fast"

I ordered Jimmy Johns for dinner. We live really close to one, but Maximus was eating and I was getting light headed from hunger. I got my sandwich in 6 minutes! It really is "freaky fast delivery"! And the dude who took my order sounded like he was half asleep, but he got my anal order correct. Go Jimmy Johns!

The reason I ate Jimmy Johns for dinner is because Jesse has been in Salt Lake City since Tuesday. He's looking at homes for us to buy and he'll be back tomorrow evening. Maximus and I miss him insanely! We ichat every morning and night, so Maximus gets to see him. It's so cute. After Max's bath, he runs out to the living room (where Jesse dries him off) but he stands there saying, "dada?" It breaks my heart every damn night.

Yesterday Handsomer, Jackie and I went to Jesse's parents house for a bbq and it was so fun. My future sister in law sent me a text message as we were driving that said "a zebra and shark are waiting for Maximus". We get there and see a zebra in the front yard! They got Max a blow-up zebra swimming pool equipped with a slide and fountain and a battery operated shark was swimming around with plastic snakes. I put Max's shark swimming trunks on and he played until his lips were purple. I'm laughing right now thinking about the fun he had. He even ate 7 marshmallows and threw a cell phone into the dogs water dish. He knows he gets away with anything and everything there. When we headed home, Maximus and Jackie were asleep after 3 blocks. We got home, ichatted with Jesse and went to bed. Max slept until noon today. Noon!

Missionaries

I love when LDS missionaries are in the area and stop by. I always offer them water or soda or a snack. My brother served a mission in Ireland and a lot of my friends are Mormon, so I have respect for them and realize how hard a mission can be at times. I'm not LDS anymore, but I don't mind talking to the elders about stuff.

Two elders were walking by when I went to get the mail this morning. I said, "Hey elders!" to them and they stopped and asked how my morning was. We talked for a few minutes and I told them we're from Salt Lake, but they couldn't keep their eyes off my right arm. (Maybe the baby shark on it was freaking them out, I don't know) They asked if I was a member of "the" church and I told them I wasn't, but my family is. Of course they asked why, so I told them that I primarily grew up LDS, went to seminary, held callings, my brother served a mission and is now a devout Catholic but is married to a die-hard Mormon woman, I told them I worked at the JSMB (Joseph Smith Memorial Building), went to LDS Business College, met Gordon B. Hinkley twice and most of the Quorum of the Twelve, got married in the LDS temple and I even told them that I voluntarily had my records removed when I no longer agreed with the teachings of "the" church and I'm a very happy athiest. They asked why I left and I told them why. I won't write the reason because a few of my LDS friends will be reading this, but you don't see me standing on Temple Square in Salt Lake with an anti-Mormon sign in my hands. I'm still a good person.

The missionaries asked if I'd be interested in a few of the discussions and I said no. I said they could stop by any time for water or a snack if they were in the area. I understand the point of their mission. But since I'm not another convert for them, they quickly decided that they needed to go and actually said they'll pray for me in hopes that I'll "see the light again". Are you kidding me? I don't understand why they assume that I need "the light" to be happy. I couldn't imagine a better life than the one I'm living. I have everything I've ever wanted and I'm a good person! I'm different, but being different doesn't ruin a person. I told them that it saddened me to see how closed off they were and I wished them luck. I told them to stop by anytime.

I'm just writing this because every other set of elders who I've run into have been pretty cool. They respect my decision and lifestyle and I respect theirs. I'm stunned at how quickly they changed. Oh well. I can understand their beliefs and why they reacted that way because I was the same way several years ago. I think they just need a little more life experience too. Or maybe it's because they were uncomfortable wearing navy suits in the humid weather. Who knows.

Shark Attack

Here are the pictures of our baby sharks...keep in mind that my arm is still swollen and it looks like my wrist is a kankle.  Check out my duck!  Peck signed his work with his trademark duck.

The Greek writing says "Maximus".

I love the dodo!

And Jesse's...

"Baby Shark & Dodo" by Oliver Peck

Oliver Peck is one cool dude.  He's TINY!  We were stunned at his speed and detail.  The man did a piece in an hour and a half that normally takes artists 4 hours.  Jesse got tattooed first because I was so nervous.  Once I saw the drawing Peck did for Jesse's tattoo, I stole it.  I had a few changes (colors, layout, name spelling and Peck trademark) but we pretty much have the same tattoo.  We both have a shark chasing a dodo (pacifier) with a banner that says Maximus.  Maximus on Jesse's arm in is English and it's in Greek on mine.  (All my writing on my other arm is in Greek, too).

I'm a wuss when I get tattooed.  Jesse sat like a champ.  In my opinion, the results are worth it.  I'll post close up pictures of the work in a few days.  Our arms are swollen and not even close to being healed.   

Peck is just a cool little skater dude from Texas.  He was really funny and he was shockingly candid about his ex-wife.  (I can't write what he said about her!)  It was so much fun and we plan on having him do more whenever he's in the area or in Salt Lake.  I'm amazed at his talent.  After getting tattooed by him, Jesse said it'd be hard to go to anyone else.  

Jesse's either a giant or Peck is pocket-sized...

  

Tattooed People are Idiots

In less than 24 hours, Jesse and I will be getting tattooed by Oliver Peck!  We're like kids on Christmas morning...almost insane with excitement!  I wanted to take pictures of before and after, but since Maximus and I are home alone, I had to take some of myself.  Yeah, I'm a dork.  You can see that my left arm is a 3/4 sleeve and my right arm is blank.  Well, I have a symbol on the inside of my wrist, but that's it.  I'm going all out tomorrow and I'm going to have him start on my right wrist and work up.  My friend said Oliver works super fast and gets a lot done in a short period of time, so we'll see how he does.  I want my right arm sleeved almost to my elbow!  Ha!  Crazy tattooed people!  I've had what I want done planned for a while and I can't wait to see the end result.  And Jesse will be doing his right forearm.  WOOHOO!!!  (Look at my beautiful Mothers Day flowers in the back...aww...thanks honey!  I agree with Starr that Mothers Day is the best holiday.  Laying in bed all morning drinking coffee was awesome.  And I am thrilled to be Maximus' mum.  My little family makes me the luckiest person alive!)

Uh...

I was cleaning up the kitchen and looked up and saw a TRACTOR IN OUR BACKYARD.  Huh?  I sometimes forget that we're in Nebraska.  Katie, I know you think seeing tractors on the road is odd, but seeing them in your backyard wins!

Children's Museum Part 2

I downloaded a bunch of pictures Jesse's mother took at the museum.  I hate, hate, hate that when I want to take a picture with Jesse's camera, I can't just push the button and take the picture!  I have to wait 8 seconds for it to flash a bunch of times and by that point, Maximus has run away!  Here are the better pictures:

This is my favorite.  Mid throw.

We drew a caterpillar.

He loved the toddler area!  He climbed the ramps and could have stayed in there the whole time.

Captain Handsomer.

Boarding the spaceship.

He loved playing with these!  

It was such a fun thing to do.  I think we're going to tackle the zoo next.

More Flying

We do the "stay straight!" thing every night because he loves it!  Jesse runs through the house with him like this and man...look at those abs!

The Lincoln Children's Museum

...is one of the coolest places on earth!  Jesse's mom and I took Maximus yesterday and expected to only stay 45 minutes because we thought it'd be a little too advanced for him.  He's only 15 months and it seemed like the entire place was created just for him.  There were 3 full floors of rad stuff to do.  We stayed over 2 hours and he ran the whole time.  I mean, sprinted.  He squealed as he threw balls, he grocery shopped, operated a tractor, worked as a construction worker, flew a plane, drove a boat, became an actor on stage, worked as a veterinarian, made pizza, climbed a zillion stairs, played in the water, played the piano, milked a cow, etc.  Oh, and he flew a spaceship.  I took 42 pictures, but he was so busy that I couldn't get any good ones.  He never stayed in the same spot for longer than a second.  

Grocery shopping.

Airplane flying.

Dumping Legos at the construction site.

Dr. Hansdomer.

Chef Hansdomer.

Every picture Jesse's mom took turned out perfect!  I'm going to get my hands on some of the ones she took and post them.  

Gross

The most disgusting thing happened.  Maximus saw me drinking some flavored water and begged for some.  I poured some into his cup and watched him guzzle all of it down.  I  refilled his cup and he drank about half.  I turned around and started to chop vegetables for dinner and looked over at him because he was talking to me (just saying, "dada?") and he barfed!  It was from all the water he quickly drank and I don't think his little tummy could hold all of it. I cleaned him up and about 10 minutes later, I picked up his little toy flute (because he likes when Jesse or I play it for him) and took a breath in to play it and I actually INHALED some of his barf!  What did I do?!  I hurled immediately!  Oh my god, it was a sight.  I had no clue Maximus yacked into his flute!  And here's the best part- he ate a homemade applesauce bran muffin and drank blueberry/tangerine flavored water.  It was SICK!  Note to self: I no longer rock.