Saturday, February 28, 2009

Friday, February 27, 2009

Wanna like, go to prom with me?

I went to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress today and I asked the bride, Ashlie, to fetch me the ugliest prom dress she could find.  She totally succeeded.  I look like cotton candy.
My friend, Heather, just sent me a text message saying: "I puke cuter than that dress!"

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Where does he put it?!

Today I documented what Handsomer ate.  Sometimes he eats like a maniac and I don't know where he puts it.  I know he's growing, but still.

  • 8oz organic whole milk mixed with soy milk
  • Bowl of plain organic oatmeal with whole milk
  • 1/2 bowl of organic o's with soy milk
  • 4oz organic whole milk mixed with soy milk
  • 1/2 natural organic peanut butter and no sugar added organic jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread
  • 1 organic banana
  • 8oz of apple/banana Juicy Juice
  • 4oz organic whole milk mixed with soy milk
  • a large bowl of vegetarian chili
  • 2 Morningstar Farms Chick 'n Nuggets
  • 6 carrot wagon wheels
  • about 1/2 cup steamed broccoli
  • handful of black olives
  • 5 cucumber slices
  • 4oz soy milk
And it's only 6pm.  He probably won't eat too much after he wakes up in a few minutes, but seriously.  This is a ton of food and the kid is only 22 pounds!  I think it all goes to his height because his long pants are getting shorter and shorter everyday.  I'm amazed.  

These two things are amazing!  I love chicken nuggets but don't eat them because of all the junk that's in them.  Don't be fooled when McDonald's says, "all white meat" because they still throw a bunch of preservatives into them and then deep fry them in old part vegetable oil.  I say "part" because they also use something called "Pan Fry".  Look it up and you'll vomit.  Anyway, the Morningstar Farms nuggets and the Fantastic Foods vegetarian chili are awesome! 

Does anyone else have a Mac computer?  Wanna iChat?  I LOVE THIS THING!  Why didn't we get one earlier?!  I'll never go back to a pc.  Never!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Quite possibly the best I've ever had

I made pulled pork tacos for dinner tonight because I miss Cafe Rio in Salt Lake City. I took a typical recipe and enhanced it (Actually, pure unsweetened cocoa powder) I giggled as I ate dinner. Sometimes my culinary skills truly amaze me. This recipe has made it to "Stacey's Top 5" or maybe even to "Stacey's Top 3". It's simply good. Don't be all weird about the cocoa powder. Authentic Mexican cooking uses it more than you think. There's only like, 3 ingredients in the recipe and you only need half a brain to make it. Try it and then judge it. As my mother used to say, "you never know unless you try"...2 cups Pace Medium Picante sauce
2 heaping teaspoons chili powder
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
Sea salt
Couple shakes of cumin
2 and a half pound pork butt or shoulder, trimmed of excess fat
Organic corn tortillas
Sour cream
Lime wedges

In a large bowl, combine the salsa, chili powder, cumin, cocoa and salt. Mix until the cocoa powder is well incorporated. Pour mixture over the pork in a slow cooker. Cook, covered, until the meat is tender and pulls apart easily. (High for 4-5 hours or low 7-8 on low is best) Warm the tortillas wrapped in foil in a 350 degree oven for about 15-20 minutes. Serve the pork shredded on the tortillas with lime, sour cream, pico, cheese or whatever you want.

And this will be my last blog from this computer...Jesse's bringing home a new Mac tonight! YEAH!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Trying to escape

When Handsomer wakes up from his naps, I listen to him over the monitor. I sit there listening to the odd noises coming from his room and laugh. It sounds like he somehow acquired power tools and he's building something! Over the last week, he's been trying to climb out of his crib and uses the soft bumper as a step. Thankfully, he can't climb out (yet...who knows if he will be able to next week), so I catch him stuck between the bars of his crib.And doh! I forgot to lock the cabinet beneath the kitchen sink the other day. I noticed him being quiet so I peeked around the corner and caught him playing with chemicals! But how rad is his robe?!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

It took a year...

...but I have my old body back! And I feel great! I pathetically gained 80 pounds when I was pregnant and should have birthed a 60 pound baby, but I didn't. I was just a fat ass from eating my cravings: hot dogs, cheeseburgers and steaks. And then add sugar and of course I was unhealthy. I know I sound vain and self-centered to most people, but those who truly know me will understand. Someone even demanded to know what "horrible, unhealthy" thing I was doing. All I can say is, stop judging me! I just gave up everything white and cooked with mainly organic ingredients and cut out sugar. Seriously, do you not know what sugar does to you?! Anyway, I'm posting a picture of the Seven for all Mankind jeans I used to wear constantly. They fit the same as they did then...they're just worn out looking now. And I'm posting a picture of the healthy-ish burgers we ate tonight. Organic ingredients, whole wheat english muffin as the bun, edamame and spanakopita. Bass beer is my weakness, so, you know...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Old picture OVERLOAD!

I found more old photos. I can't believe what a dork I was! Here they are in no particular order...

1997 league championships. Of course we won! Hillary Lee, Rachelle Smith, Taylor Goldman and me.

Jeff Stoops and me. I think we were in 2nd grade.

Me when I was probably 2.

Squared and I outside of Club Axis. We had these pimp suede full-length coats and we thought we were the shit! Yeah, and I'm wearing a tube top.

My 14th birthday party. Maytha Alhassan, me, Laura Snapp, Jeanine Malki, Lindsay Schaeffer, Rachelle Smith and Meghan Hansen.
At the West Covina house the next morning. It was a sleepover and can't you tell we're all so happy to take a picture so early in the AM?

Sixth grade.
Rachelle Smith and me at my parents cabin in 1990.
Sarah Crum and I on our weekly beach trip. Look how tall I was! She's a year older than I am too! I'm thinking this is 1987 or 1988?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Hidden vegetables

The only vegetable I don't like is cauliflower. I'll eat a pound of sprouts, but never any cauliflower. This "Mac & Cheese" dish has hidden cauliflower and it's damn good. Adding the cauliflower throws in a bunch of fiber and vitamin C. Cauliflower, broccoli and strawberries all have more vitamin C than an orange does.

Hidden cauliflower in mac & cheese:

1 head cauliflower, coarsely chopped (don’t buy frozen! It’ll get mushy)
12 ounces whole wheat or Jerusalem artichoke flour elbow macaroni (or the unhealthy kind, if you want)
4 slices whole wheat bread, torn (let the bread sit out a few hours so it gets a bit hard)
½ cup fresh parsley, chopped
½ cup milk (soy, 1% or skim is cool)
1 ½ cups grated organic low fat extra-sharp cheddar cheese (you can use soy cheese too)
1 ½ cups low fat sour cream
A few good shakes of smoked paprika (optional- but paprika makes anything lovely)
1 yellow onion, finely chopped
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
Olive oil
Sea salt and fresh black pepper

Heat oven to 400. Cook the pasta according to the package directions and add the cauliflower during the last 3 minutes of cooking time; drain.

Meanwhile, pulse the bread in a food processor until coarse crumbs form. Add the parsley, 2 tablespoons of the oil and ¼ teaspoon each salt and pepper and pulse to combine; set aside. If you don't have a food processor, use your blender.

Return the pasta pot to medium heat and add the remaining tablespoon of oil. Add the onion, ¾ teaspoon salt and ½ teaspoon pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, just until soft, like 5 minutes. Mix in the pasta, cauliflower, cheese, sour cream, milk and mustard.

Transfer to a shallow 3-quart baking ramekin or baking dish, sprinkle with the bread crumbs and paprika and bake until golden brown, 12-15 minutes. Try no to eat the entire bowl yourself, pig.

And for some odd reason, this is really good with steamed peas. Just plain old peas. (Add some Smart Balance and sea salt for additional flavor). It reminds me of something a mom in the 1950's would serve while her hair was up in a Beehive.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Dive in!

My friend asked me to make her a cookbook of pretty much everything Jesse and I eat for dinner during the span of 2 months. Of course I will! So, I'll be posting more recipes as I come across them.

Have I mentioned my love for turning unhealthy recipes into healthy ones? I think so. Anyway, sometimes I'm a glutton for things that are so bad for you. Example: cheeseburgers. Who doesn't love a freakin' cheeseburger? Sorry Starr :) I break down and have one with a couple of beers about every two weeks. They keep me sane. I didn't eat meat growing up, so I acquired a love for it. And who doesn't love a taco salad? There's something about the savory meat, cheese, guacamole, crisp lettuce and sour cream. I made taco salads for dinner a couple weeks ago and managed to cut way back on the saturated fats, sugar, calories, sodium and then added good fats and soy protein. And seriously, look at it. You can dive into this no-brainer salad and not feel like a fat ass afterward.

Use this stuff. You can't tell the difference and I personally, love the taste of this. It's naturally flavorful and I added only 1/2 pack of taco seasoning to cut the sodium levels down.

And why not try a mixture of soy cheese and organic cheese? It tastes great. I found some soy cheese that was the best I've ever had. It was just HyVee Health Market Organic soy cheese. It melted the same and the texture was perfect.

Just add olives, fresh avocado, fat-free sour cream, crisp romaine lettuce with baby field greens, no salt added pinto beans (or black beans) and crumble these chips on top. These chips rock our world. We eat them like they're going out of style. The brand is Plocky's and they're made only with whole grains and non-hydrogenated vegetable oil, soybean and sunflower oils. 4 grams of fat per serving and 0 grams of saturated fat make them only sound like they taste like cardboard, but even Jesse said they're the tastiest chip he's ever had.

Saturday, February 14, 2009


I thought it'd get easier each day, but nope. I picked up Claire's ashes Thursday and had a complete meltdown. It sucks. And I have the flu for the third time in 3 weeks! I think it's from the stress of losing Claire among other things that have happened. We were eating popcorn the other night and Jesse took a piece out of the bowl and placed it near her collar. She really liked this particular kind of popcorn. She even let Maximus feed it to her.

Not only are Jesse and I grieving, but Jacqueline is as well. She mopes around the house and has become very clingy. She spends most of the day on the back of the couch looking out window or laying by the back door.

On a lighter note...I got something completely unexpected this morning! Jesse is soooo anit-Valentines Day. He blabs about how commercialized and how pathetic it really is. I love Valentines Day! I've even bought myself flowers one year and told people I did when they asked who they were from. Why not? I get all into it and I have an excuse to eat as much dark chocolate and drink as much red wine as I want. Anyway, I set out Jesse's gifts last night after he went to bed and I honestly wasn't expecting anything. He even asked the most stupid question ever, "Isn't Valentines Day on the 16th?" No idiot, it's the 14th. Don't act dumb. I woke up to him holding a cute little red bag and I was stunned. The anti-Valentine got me a gift! It was so precious. It's a necklace that I saw in a magazine and pointed it out to him only once. It's heart shaped with diamonds and the most important thing of all is it says Maximus Lane on it. Ahh! What a guy! And I thought he doesn't listen 90% of the time. I love him!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Constructive criticism

I received some constructive criticism today about my blog. Thanks guys! (Please keep in mind that I am grieving the loss of our dog. And again, thank you to those who showed support. I cried more today than I did yesterday, so I'm hoping things get easier.) I'm writing this blog to clear up any confusion anyone else has about what I write. Wait a second...isn't this my blog? Don't I get to write about whatever I want to?

Here are two misconceptions that apparently are very obvious. I had no idea! I must have my head shoved so far in my ass that I miss these things.

1. Taking my camera to the emergency room was pretty much a selfish attempt to gain attention. Yeah, who does that? Answer: the mom who is obsessed with photos and will capture the first time her son pisses into the "big boy" toilet.

2. And this one hits me right in the balls. I am deeply, deeply hurt by this. It's going to come across harsh only because of how offended I am. I DID NOT HAVE MY DOG PUT TO SLEEP BECAUSE I WAS TOO LAZY TO FIND HER A HOME. How dare anyone ever judge me. My dog died in my arms 30 hours ago because she was fucking sick! My dog was sick! She was sick! Claire was sick! I made the right decision, goddammit, and I had 4 professionals who assured me! I will defend this until I'm blue in the face! I'm appalled. Jesse and I are hurting so much from our loss. So much. It's difficult to even get up in the morning and shower. We can't eat dinner because we sit and talk about Claire and cry. (Oh wait, there's that attempt at selfish attention again) Show some decency!

The Claire comment hurt me worse than anything I've ever heard. I'm writing this because I deserve to. I won't be treated like that from anyone.


Also known as: Clare-bear, Clarinet, Clairvoyant, Fatty, Little Girl. I don't know where to start. I've been crying all day.

Claire came to us after her former owners split up and moved. She was primarily kept down in a basement without much human contact. She was incredibly intelligent and was doing well with us until recently. We gave her a loving home and never treated her like the way she had always been treated. For the last 2 months, Claire became aggressive. Not only with Maximus, but with Jesse and I and with Jacqueline. I contacted a few animal behavior specialists and they said re-homing her was the only option. Then one day, she snapped at Max and bit Jesse. We kept her out of contact from Max, but she grew more and more aggressive.

Yesterday, Claire was a very different dog. Every morning, I would take her and Jackie outside to play fetch. After a few throws, Claire dropped the ball and attacked Jacqueline. It wasn't a typical fight. Within seconds, she pinned Jackie to the ground and had a hold of her throat. Jackie stopped fighting back and went completely limp. I grabbed the "fetch it" thrower and after a few seconds, tripped Claire and she let go of Jackie and attacked my foot. I screamed and I was certain she killed Jackie because she hadn't gotten up. Claire backed off my foot and stood there, head down, snarling and teeth showing until I picked up Jack and went in the house. Jackie was wheezing, had blood gushing out of her throat and couldn't walk.

Frantically, I called the vet. After talking to her numerous times throughout the morning, I accepted that Claire needed to be put down. I contacted another veterinarian and she said the same thing. She understood because of what happened with her Jack Russell. I called another specialist in the area and she also agreed. She had gone through the same thing. Re-homing Claire wasn't an option anymore. And Claire wasn't Claire anymore. I've never seen that look on a dog before. I was completely devastated.

I can't write much about the actual experience. I went alone. It was emotionally terrifying and the saddest experience of my life. My little canine girl died in my arms. The vet told me that after Claire had passed, she let Jackie see her as a form of closure. Jackie sniffed her and looked up at the vet and then laid down next to Claire. I left with just one dog.

The vet told me that Jacqueline would have died if Claire went on for just one more second.

At 2am, I woke up to the sound of Claire jumping on our bed. I don't believe in spirits or anything like that, but I do know that somehow she was there. The vet called this morning and informed me that Claire was suffering from seizures and hypothyroidism and it was a matter of time before she lost it completely and attacked unprovoked. The seizures are caused from inbreeding. She assured me again, that I made the best decision for her. I know I did, but it's just so sad to think that she was only 3 years old and she wasn't happy or living the life she was meant to live. After I hung up, the doorbell rang and their was a bouquet of flowers from the staff at the veterinary hospital saying they were sorry about our loss.

I can't write anymore.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I was wrong about Max's height. Maximus is 30 1/2 inches tall. I'm glad Jesse was able to go to the appointment with me, even if I had to take him back for shots a few days later. They told me to come in anytime and it'd only take a moment, and it did. We just stopped by (without appointment), they gave him shots, he cried, I hugged him and he was happy as usual. And Max didn't get sick because his shots weren't spaced out 2 weeks. That's actually a myth. If a kid has an a nasty infection, they recommend waiting a week, but that was not Maximus' case. Vaccinations make even the healthiest kid act sick for a day. I called his doctor today (just to make sure) and said he caught the flu that was going around. No big deal. Whew. Jesse and I are doing a decent job as parents after all!

I had to put our younger dog, Claire down today. It was the worst experience of my life. I'll write about it later. I told only a couple of people and I want to thank them for calling me with support.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

A sick little Handsomer

Maximus woke up sick this morning. He slept over 12 hours last night and woke up screaming. Jesse went in and noticed he was burning up and the poor little boy was totally shaking. We took his temp and called his doctor. Turns out 102.8 will land you in the ER.

I really don't know why I grabbed the camera on the way out the door. Handsomer was pretty relaxed until we went into one of the trauma rooms. He lost his mind and screamed until he passed out. I think the room reminded him of the nasty shots he had Thursday. The little boy in the room next to us was vomiting like there was no tomorrow. I've never heard a kid throw up before, and it's the saddest thing. (By the way...Max is 31 and 1/2 inches tall and 20.7 pounds)

Jesse shot this picture and his sad eyes almost make me cry. He just looks so sick.The poor little boy trembled as he clung to me. Be nice- I have no make up on, my hair isn't done and had like 2 minutes to change out of my pj's
This is him on the way home. I can't get over how sad his eyes look. His cheeks are red from his fever. I hope he gets better soon. It's unfair for a little, innocent baby to be sick. His temperature was 104.5 after his nap! Jesus, this is crazy!

Monday, February 2, 2009

He's already a year old!

According to Jesse, there's no better day to celebrate your first birthday than during the SuperBowl. People everywhere are celebrating! Jesse and I fought the nastiest flu earlier during the week, so we hoped that Maximus would feel great for his big day and he did.

Every boy needs an old school metal Tonka dump truck...

Hooray! I'm one!

We made sure that Max didn't run and bump into anything all week, so he wouldn't have any bruises for pictures on his first birthday. But...the day before, he took off sprinting through the kitchen and bashed his head into this tiny ledge on the hutch. The ledge is less than a quarter inch thick and he's slammed his head into it twice. And since he's so fair (thanks to Jesse), the smallest mark shows up so dark. Poor kid. He always has bruises. I guess that's just part of being a boy. Note to self: buy a baby helmet for the next kid.

We just couldn't let Handsomer eat a nasty sugar-loaded cake, so I made him one from scratch. It tasted so good! It was made with whole wheat pastry flour, soy milk, unsweetened applesauce and agave nectar, but the frosting actually had a tiny bit of sugar in it.
He didn't eat too much of it. He liked smashing it on his head instead.

It was such a fun day for him. Lots of people, lots of fun, lots of love and oh my god...the kid has more clothes than I thought he'd ever have. Thank you Danny and Vicki, Unk Da and Ashlie and Unk Fa! It was I gave him a bath that night, I thought it was cool that he made it a whole year without ever pooping in the tub. Then I look down and sure enough...

After he went to bed, Jesse and I looked at some of the pictures of Maximus taken when he was still in the hospital and I cried. I knew I would. Jesse said that next year at this time, we will be back home in Utah and most likely in a house that we own. Ahh.